Rumors have been circulating for months that destroyer of dreams extreme hottie Scarlett Johansson would be playing Jenna Jameson in an upcoming biopic. However, I am now forced to cry a billion tears upon hearing this report from People:
"Scarlett has never seen a script nor been approached about this
project," says a rep for the actress. "She also has no interest in
playing this role."
I hate her rep. It is your job to get Scarlett’s naked form committed to film while she is at her peak.
I will cut off an arm to see her in this film. Who is willing to let me cut off an arm for the cause? What? You didn’t think I was gonna cut off my own did you? I can’t star in the film opposite Scarlett if I’m a gimp. C’mon! Think people.
Lindsay Lohan’s Guide To A Successful 2007 1) Get arrested for a hit and run DUI 2) fail at rehab and enter 3 times in 6 months 3) Get arrested for another DUI after kidnapping 2 people and stealing a car while awaiting trial on the first DUI 4) Have kidnap victims weigh whether or not to sue your ass 5) Have people declare you uninsurable 6) Have your new movie tank HARDCORE 7) Have Dina and Michael Lohan as parents Have another lady SUE you for hitting her car as TMZ is now reporting.
Yahoo is reporting that the new films Superbad, from the people who brought you 40 Year Old Virgin and Knocked Up and the latest installment in the Resident Evil franchise wowed the crowd and caused quite a buzz.
Most the people who go to these things are utter dorks. However, they are usually friends with at least one normal person and they are the ones who cause the buzz on new films. In that regard I am semi-excited. Superbad I had faith in. Resident Evil…neither one had stories and were mere bloodbaths so I wasn’t exactly up for another. However, the trailer looks like a super bloodbath, so on that level, I am SOOO in.
Jessica Biel was photographed with Justin Timberlake going for a ride together.
The most shocking part of this is he actually allowed her to be in the car with her. He has been acting like a freak. There was video of him refusing to walk out of a restaurant hand in hand with her on TMZ (check out their channel) and he tried desperately to get her to not come to Europe when he began his tour.
Hey ‘bro’ it’s not like it’s a secret that you two are making the beast of 2 backs on a regular basis.
Seriously. He has problems. I would wear a shirt that said "I am banging Biel" and have her hand surgically attached to mine if we were dating. She’s hot…REALLY hot.
Now, Jessica, as you will read below, I begged a few (5) other women to be mine, however you are my true love. Please! C’mon! Please!
Star Jones is revealing to Glamour magazine exactly how she lost all the weight. Was it diet and exercise? Of course not you dolts. She had surgery and she apparently thinks its a big revelation to admit that.
OJ Simpson just keeps being a winner. The Goldman’s and Brown’s have won the publishing and royalties rights to his shelved novel "If I Did It" The Goldman’s get 90% and the Brown’s get 10%, but the Goldman’s are on the hook for any publishing costs. God he’s and asshole. Good for you guys I hope you get more of his ill begotten cash.
A week after dumping Cash Warren went shopping for furniture. That doesn’t sound like a girl who is looking to dive back into a failed relationship to me. Sounds like a little redesign to get the house back to the way she liked it.
In related news I will be helping her to pick out multiple beds later, because I’m gonna wreck ‘em!
C’mon! Please, Jessica! Ignore all the shit below this post where I say the same things to Michelle Pfeiffer and Anne Hathaway. You are the one I want! Don’t shut me out, baby cakes! Please!
A day after Swedish legend Ingmar Bergman died, Italian film legend Michaelangelo Antonioni has died at the age of 94.
He was enormously influential over the course of his 6 decades as a director and was Oscar nominated for Blow Up and critically acclaimed for the magical L’Avventura .
First Ingmar now Antonioni…and yet Michael Bay is still fit as a horse. There is no justice.
God dammit! I warned you fucking people what would happen. Brad Grey and the rest of you studio honchos have gone too god damned far! As I mentioned earlier, I am convinced people are intentionally giving Paris Hilton work to see who can piss of the world most. Now Variety is reporting this first report of the coming of the apocalypse:
Hilton will sing and act as she plays the privileged daughter of Paul Sorvino
in "Repo! The Genetic Opera" – a musical set in the year 2056, "when a
plague nearly destroys the human race and survival is dependent upon
being able to finance a pricey organ transplant,"
Son of a bitch! What have we done? Have we become too immoral? Have we forsaken a holy deity who is now punishing us? What the hell must we do to get people to stop giving her work that people with talent normally do? There are plenty of good actors not working who are losing roles to this no talent slunt so she can satisfy her vanities.
The Simple Life just got canceled, we were doing so well; but then some asshole had to go and do this shit.
Donald Trump made a typically off color comment about a celebrity, in this case Lindsay Lohan. He said:
"Find what you love doing (other than drugs and alcohol), work hard,
stay focused, get a new set of parents – then join me on ‘Celebrity
Apprentice,’ which is shooting soon – I’ll keep you straight!"
Dina, not to be left out of the spotlight when the opportunity presents itself replied:
"Donald, I’m really disappointed in the statement that was brought to
my attention from The New York Post. I’ve always had a great admiration
for your business sense and I’ve read all your books and learned from
them! Your own brother died of alcoholism and you own Trump Vodka? You
say Lindsay needs new parents? Such a rash statement without backing it
with fact? I am a single mother of four children doing what I can
during this difficult time! Do a background check of both parents and
you will find the truth! Shame on you… so many families suffer from
this, yours included. We need solutions not opinions! – Dina and family"
To which Donald countered:
In reponse, Trump told Access: "I know Dina, I like Dina, and
I have no doubt that she’s a wonderful parent. I also have no doubt
that she loves Lindsay more than anything in the world."
To which…OK there wasn’t a counter counter yet, but you know it’s coming. Dina will do whatever it takes to milk her daughter’s woes for her own gain as much as possible.
Donald is an asshole 9 times out of 10 but he is right on here: Trade in your parents, Lindsay! They are NOOO good.
Michelle Pfeiffer showed up for the premiere of her new hunk of shit film Stardust. That’s not the news. The news is she is turning 50 soon and still ridiculously hot.
Her claim, and the word around town is it has been a sans surgery life for Shelly.
I would still totally do her. I love you baby! Forget all that shit I’m about to say about Anne Hathaway a few posts down! We should be together. Mostly because you will die well before me then I can refocus on Anne Hathaway or whichever hot girl I post a story about next. C’mon!
P.S. Bring the Catwoman suit once you’ve come around to the idea.
Have another lady 
