Chris O’Donnell is attempting to kill his wife, as their 5th child is on the way. His sperm must come out with scuba suits and machetes. Those lil bastards are potent.
Former ER star Julianna Margulies is expecting a child.
Nicole Richie’s child will be a boy.
Christina Aguilera’s child will be a girl.
My neighbor Meredith Altenhaus is also having a boy. She isn’t famous, but just in case she does become famous in the intervening 9 months, I can claim to have had an exclusive.*
I’ll be sneaking into more celebrity bedrooms soon to see who’s fucking and going to have a baby as soon as I can. *
*if you didn’t know that was obvious bullshit you need to hit ctrl+alt+delete on your life and end it.
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