The man convicted of trying to extort Tom Cruise for $1 million was found dead in his home as he was on house arrest awaiting sentencing. The police in Phoenix, Arizona released this statement:
During the afternoon of September 28, 2007, the Phoenix Police Department received a “check welfare” radio call. According to the caller, Mr. Schmidt had been required to wear a monitoring device. The device had not registered movement for some time and the caller was concerned for Mr. Schmidt’s welfare. Officers responded to 4301 N. 21st Street, went inside the residence, and Mr. Schmidt was found deceased. Based on the scene investigators believe this is an apparent suicide. Final determination of the cause and manner of death will be made by the Office of the Medical Examiner. No other information will be released at this time.
Uhh…wow…I’m not necessarily saying Tom or his people had anything to do with this of course, but it is pretty weird for a guy who was trying to fuck you out of a million is dead. That’s some Godfather kinda shit.
Tom, I hereby swear my allegiance to thee and Xenu (or is he the bad one?) and shall never speak ill of you* and think you are wonderful. Continue reading ‘Don’t Piss Tom Cruise Off…’
This is what we call a ’slow news day’ in the blogusiness. Thank god it’s Sunday….
A Volvo dealership claims that Denise Richards was contracted to put in a little face time at their Manhattan showroom but didn’t show up. Gatecrasher reports:
Sources attributed the no-show to stress over her continuing nasty divorce with Charlie Sheen.
Says one insider: “There was a contract for her to be there, and she was going to get a lease on a new Volvo in return.”
But a spokeswoman for Richards says her manager “passed on [the offer] right away.” She said: “We never even asked Denise; there was no contract. She’s not in New York.”
Oh man! You missed out on a free hatchback stationwagon, Denise? What are you a fuckin’ idiot? Shit! Man, you failed! How are you going to get a new car now stupid?
Oh yeah, the millions of dollars you make a year…uh…nevermind.
I still don’t buy the pix are Photoshopped. Just my opinion. Just stop talking about it Oscar. Make up some bullshit story about how she asked you to dress like that and gave you the most mind blowing blow job in the history of the earth or something. At least then people might think more about why they aren’t getting mind blowing head from super hot strippers rather than wondering why the hell you are taking pictures in ladies panties.
Dammit. I just realized you did bang that girl. Now I’m depressed, Mrs. De La Hoya.
Wow. Who woulda thunk this twit could get even more annoying? What the fuck is up with that face; and what about that facial expression? Oh! You got burned, baby! Yeah! I win! Manny 1-0 Montag
Nikki is filming a new film, The Reader, that required the special touch that only a concentration camp can give. The Sun UK reports:
A MOVIE starring NICOLE KIDMAN, and RALPH FIENNES has been banned from using a Nazi concentration camp for a scene.The makers of love story The Reader wanted to film at Sachsenhausen, near Berlin.
But German authorities said it was “not appropriate”.
Man, how touchy. I mean, just because they want to film on and exploit the grave of thousands of people doesn’t mean it’s inappropriate. I’m sure there is no possible way to simulate a concentration camp either. No film has ever done that.
You may remember Hayden Panettiere’s masterful thwarting of prying paparazzi lenses. Well, The Hills‘ Audrina Patridge* doesn’t have the finely honed crotch blocking skills of Ms. Hayden.
Dearest Audrina,
Seriously, you are totally hot and I’m not complaining about seeing your goods, but your mother and father have to wonder what kinda of daughter they have when you are popping out of a car in a short skirt practically spread eagle.
I expect a sex tape on my desk no later than Tuesday 9 am. You are well on your way to Parisville.
P.S. your show still sucks a fat monkey cock. It’s just awful.
P-diddy, acting like an asshole; a trait he puts on display hourly; was at it again in NYC. (no, not the kind of asshole who gets laid either, the bad kind of asshole)
Apparently, doing your job while at work is simply unacceptable to Mrs. Combs. Page 6 reports:
…a witness outside downtown hot spot GoldBar the other night said, “He walked right up to the door girl with four other people in his crew. When she asked him how many people he was with, Diddy just called her a ‘fucking bitch’ and opened the velvet rope and let himself through.” Reps for GoldBar and Combs declined to comment.
Ya know, put your head in a meat grinder and turn the handle, dickhole. Who the fuck do you think you are? You haven’t even made a hit in 10 years so you can’t even say that you are ‘hip’ or ‘current’ or even ’semi-relevant’. Get off your high horse you whale cock connoisseur. I’m sick of fucking asswipes like this idiot pulling this shit on people working $5 an hour shit jobs wiping their cock after a gonorrhea post-glans drip hits em and treating them like utter dog shit.
Man she’s good…or just hasn’t wrecked herself enough yet to the point where she doesn’t give a shit who gets a look under the hood like most of the rest of Hollywood…yet.
Look at the patented ‘bag move’ and the sly ‘oh, I’m a sexy monkey who just happened to push my skirt down at the right moment’ move from 1929.
Note to paparazzi: This is why you toss and orange at her face. No one is gonna let an orange smash em in the face. Then you’ll get your upskirt shot. Jesus Christ do I have to do your job for you? Continue reading ‘Hayden Panettiere Has Crotch Awareness’
The man convicted of trying to extort Tom Cruise for $1 million was found dead in his home as he was on house arrest awaiting sentencing. The police in Phoenix, Arizona released this statement:
This is what we call a ’slow news day’ in the blogusiness. Thank god it’s Sunday….
Wow. Who woulda thunk this twit could get even more annoying? What the fuck is up with that face; and what about that facial expression? Oh! You got burned, baby! Yeah! I win!
Nikki is filming a new film, The Reader, that required the special touch that only a concentration camp can give. The Sun UK reports:
You may remember 
P-diddy, acting like an asshole; a trait he puts on display hourly; was at it again in NYC. (no, not the kind of asshole who gets laid either, the bad kind of asshole)
Man she’s good…or just hasn’t wrecked herself enough yet to the point where she doesn’t give a shit who gets a look under the hood like most of the rest of Hollywood…yet.
