Paris Hilton’s ovaries are burning. The heiress is apparently hungry for the cock again and can’t wait until she can get impregnated. Which shouldn’t be difficult considering she refuses to have her men use condoms according to rumors and the litany of video evidence proving it to be true.
She even has a name all picked out according to The Sun UK:
“If I had a child I would name him London.
“I used to have a cat named London. I like the name Paris Jr, too.”
“I love babies. I’d like three or four.”
But first she needs a boyfriend.
She admitted: “I’ve been single for a couple of months.”
God dammit….so she likes the idea of her kids having the shit kicked out of them? “Hi, I’m London, this is my mom Paris” or better yet, “Hi, I’m Paris jr., this is my mom Paris. Uhhh, yeah I guess that does mean I have a girls name*” I’d punch that kid in the face myself.
Also basing that decision on the name of a cat she had once? Classy. Thank god it wasn’t named ‘Spot’ I guess.
I had a dog who licked his balls and asshole all day too, should I have my hypothetical kid emulate that as well?
So if you wanna help Paris and are willing to get aboard the herpes train, give her a call.
*yes, I realize that ‘Paris’ was originally a boy’s name from the Illiad, but she is named Paris, the kid’s friends would see she was named Paris…being named after your mom if you are a boy is generally a bad thing to stave off constant ass beatings.
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