Steve Guttenberg is actually being paid by someone to write a book about his life. No confirmation of the rumor that it will be called “You’ve read every other memoir on earth if you are reading this bullshit book” yet.
The actor will recount his early days in Hollywood that I am sure will do the normal thing and omit how family friends and connections were more important for his success than anything that ever resembled talent. He will tell, Gatecrasher reports, that he is absent minded, sexually retarded & possibly a murderer. This might be a decent read after all. Let’s take a peep at a sample:
“I was 19 years old at a club on the Sunset Strip called Gazzari’s,” the Brooklyn native, now 49, told me.
He was invited home by an older lady, who promptly requested to be tied up. “She opened the closet and had like 55 outfits, with ropes and everything,” Guttenberg recalled. He secured her to the four-poster bed, only to have to run out to a drugstore to get “protection.”
“So I got the protection, along with flowers and candy and little sandwiches,” the “Police Academy” star said. But when he returned to the apartment complex, he couldn’t even remember which tower she lived in, let alone her floor or apartment number.
“So I went home and left her tied up,” he recalled. “In my mind, she’s now this skeleton in an apartment somewhere in Marina Del Rey. Like Nicole Richie.”
A Nicole Richie skeleton joke works better when the girl doesn’t currently weigh more than she’s ever weighed Stev-o.
Also, what kind of dipshit are you? You can’t remember where you were at? What kind of man are you? We don’t remember birthdays, anniversaries, the number to 911 when the wife is having a heart attack; but we do remember where a slam dunk lay is located.
I’m also sure she appreciated being tied up and left there too, buttfuck. Maybe cop up to the embarrassment and tell building management so she can get out, maybe?
That is precisely how I know this story is total bullshit, Stevie. This would have come out in the ’80’s when you were still relevant. Try again, dick lick.
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