That’s all for now, folks. I am off to read Alex Proyas’ new film starring Nic Cage. I am pumped about it.
I LOVE The Crow and LOVE LOVE LOVE Dark City so I’m hoping it holds up.
I’ll let ya know what I think of it. 
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Archive for January, 2008
I’m not sure who wrote this shit, but it’s a bad attempt to co-opt the Tim & Eric ‘thing’ and make it their own.
If the brilliance that was Tim & Eric didn’t exist, this might be more amusing. However, in this world where, thankfully, T & E exist, this is just a bad take on one of the most brilliant shows on TV.
I can’t totally blame Mischa though even though she is the only person with an actual career in this video since I’m told she had nothing to do with it’s writing; but still.
That being said, I would still totally bang Mischa Barton.
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7 years ago, this story would have given me priapism; now…not so much.
Paris Hilton apparently met up with her former co-star, Elisha Cuthbert, in NYC and had a torrid makeout session. US Mag reports:
Paris Hilton and actress Elisha Cuthbert were “all over each other and making out” at New York’s Tenjune club Tuesday night, a source tells Usmagazine.com.
“Who knew?” says the source of the unlikely pairing.
Hilton, 26, and Cuthbert, 25 (who costarred in 2005′s House of Wax), didn’t arrive at Tenjune together. Hilton was there for a birthday party and was seen dancing on banquets. “It’s Paris,” says the source. “She loves putting on a show.”
I would really love to have a raging boner right now, but all I can think about is herpes and a bad haircut that a 5 year old boy would be embarrassed of. (seriously, Cuthbert…grow that fucking mane out again god dammit!)
That being said, I am SO still spanking myself stupid to this.
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Apparently the stage in Boston couldn’t handle the powerfulness of the girls power on display.
After a pyro/paper display, the backing track speakers went out and there was no longer any volume.
The girls soldiered on and made the most of it and judging by the screams of the fans no one new any better except the extraordinarily effeminate man who video taped this clip:
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Seriously, what in the fuck are these people still cheering about? You just got fucked outta 2 minutes of concert and got 100% proof that they sing to a backing track. WEAK
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Britney Spears is being committed to the loonie bin aka psych ward after attempting suicide. Shocker. The LA Times reports:
Los Angeles Police officers physically removed pop star Britney Spears from her home early today, placing the troubled celebrity on a “mental health evaluation hold,” authorites said.
More than a dozen motorcycle officers and a Los Angeles Fire Department ambulance swept through the front gates of Spears hilltop Studio City residence shortly before 1 a.m., as a police helicopter hovered overheard. At 1:08 a.m., officers inside the home radioed to commanders that “the package is on the way out.”
Spears was rushed from a side entrance of her home into an ambulance. As she was driven down Coldwater Canyon Boulevard, her vehicle was escorted by more than a dozen motorcycle officers, two cruisers and two police helicopters. Her final destination was the UCLA Medical Center, authorities said.
Seriously, she basically has cops at her house every day. It’s pretty safe to say at this point that this had to happen.
It’s really get less funny every day. She is just a sad, pathetic husk of a human being who really needs a massive amount of drugs/therapy/suicide to un-fuck herself in the worst way.
I can’t wait til her kids are thieves and brigands.
Britney: Put the barrel in your mouth, and squeeze the fucking trigger, baby doll. Time to ease the harsh pain of living, doll face.
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This officially might be the biggest moron on the face of the planet. I guess that ‘library’ building they drive by everyday doesn’t offer this kind of service.
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Dave Coulier who is best known from his ‘amazing’ turn on the hardcore smut fest Full House and finding any excuse to get on any TV show that will have him to do his fucking Popeye impression, has now launched a new video/internet tv website: Cleanguys.tv
Yes, as you may have guessed it is a website that essentially cuts all the funny shit out of comedy in favor of G-rated humor that a 5 year old would find a bit too fluffy for their tastes.
Seriously, Dave? We already have godtube.com if we want mind numbing Mickey Mouse shit to kill off the brain cells that survived the whiskey bath we gave them the night before after snorting a Tony Montana size mound of cocaine before beating our wife with a ‘wicked heart’ into loving us…or something totally hypothetical like that.
It’s LAME. There are a million ways you could have tried to resurrect your career. You were the subject of Alanis Morrisette’s You Oughtta Know which seemed to suggest that you 2 had a rather filthy sex life. Why not release a fuck tape of that? She isn’t hot and I’d have to give my eyes and acid bath and purification by fire if I saw you nude, but still, a celebrity fuck tape is a celebrity fuck tape. They are king makers.
Cut the shit already, fuck-o
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Variety reports that the cast of what is sure to be the latest raping of my childhood memories, GI JOE, is coming together and nearly complete:
Dennis Quaid and Channing Tatum have been set as the leads in Paramount’s actioner “G.I. Joe.”
Quaid will play General Hawk, the grizzled team leader and Tatum will play Duke Hauser, the lead soldier in the Stephen Sommers-directed film, which is scheduled to shoot next month in L.A. Pic is set for release on Aug. 7, 2009.Tatum’s character works closely on missions with Ripcord, a team member that will be played by Marlon Wayans. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Rachel Nichols, Sienna Miller, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje and Said Taghmaoui are also in the ensemble.
OK, so the lame assed cast aside…oh and the piece of shit hack director (Stephen Sommers) aside, I am 100% positive this movie will be NOTHING like the cartoon I grew up loving. What is the #1 reason you ask?
The acronym.
In the film version, “GI JOE” stands for “Global International Joint Operating Entity”
Basically a globalists wet dream and an absolute farce considering that the REAL GI JOE was: the real AMERICAN hero. Not some bullshit UN-esque cunt force.
Sorry, Stephen Sommers made me leery but this complete re-write of the mythology just caused me to check out. ‘Enjoy’ this hunk of shit at your peril.
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While Heath Ledger’s REAL parent were busy grieving the tragic loss of their child; some shit bag took it upon himself to use the situation to have some ‘fun’ and games. Page 6 reports:
Kim Ledger, a race-car driver, was spotted outside the apartment where his son died last week. He arrived in New York on a flight from LA yesterday.
While Ledger visited the apartment, police were still trying to find a twisted impostor pretending to be the grieving father. The imposter cruelly duped superstar Tom Cruise into consoling him over the phone – and nearly got John Travolta to buy him a plane ticket to the United States, sources told The Post.
The sick scammer also suckered the Frank E. Campbell Funeral Home in Manhattan, where the tragic actor’s body was held before being flown to Los Angeles, into booking him and his “family” rooms at the ritzy Carlyle hotel nearby on Madison Avenue, sources said. The hoaxer even got them to send free stuff to their rooms “when nobody was there,” a source said.
And the man falsely claiming to be Kim Ledger spoke on the phone with the doctor who performed the autopsy on the “Brokeback Mountain” star, a spokeswoman for the Medical Examiner’s Office confirmed.
That’s basically as low as it gets. In some ways it’s kinda funny since he did dupe Travolta and Cruise who both claimed to have been deeply touched by Heath despite never actually having met him or worked with him according to many reports. However, it’s not funny enough that he’s not a shit bag for stealing from a funeral home.
Hopefully they will find this asshole and torture his balls with a cactus and skull fuck him with a voodoo witch doctor nose bone.
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David Beckham was in Brazil launching his 3rd soccer (football) academy to add to his other schools in London and Los Angeles.
However, he appeared at the event in a T-shirt by Marc Jacobs with his wife’s image on the front of it.
Seriously, dude? Either she has GOD pussy or you are just way whipped. I get that you love your wife and all but my god man; a little dignity.
Beside, that shirt is retarded.
You should be wearing ‘no fat chicks’ shirts and classy shit like that.
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