Think you’d like to go to a red carpet premiere and meet Scarlett Johansson? Well think no more and bid HERE as she is up for sale! (for charity)
On a side note, anyone who outbids me is an asshole as I could totally score with her in addition to scoring those tix. I mean, if there is anything more appealing to a woman than Ryan Reynolds washboard abs; it’s a marginally employed internet wiseass like your’s truly.
Prepare the diaphragm now, Scarlett. Prepare it NOW.
Well, and you can probably prepare the inevitable restraining order too when you realize that I thought you were prepping the diaphragm for me and not your fiance, the rich and attractive Ryan Reynolds.
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