First let me apologize for being MIA for most of this week. I have a bunch of tests in school and AFM time is here again which means I have to analyze a slew of mediocre scripts in a very short time.
First up on the list is Mandate Pictures Jackie Chan vehicle: The Spy Next Door.
The basica premise is a Chinese intelligence super agent (Chan) is in love with his girlfriend; who also happens to be his neighbor, and wants to marry her.
Now the only way to marry her is if her 3 precocious kids love him too and if he can rid the world of his one last remaining super enemy.
There is no way those two worlds collide right? RIGHT!?!?!?!
Of course they do. This premise has been done a billion times with varying effect. I have to say it wasn’t terrible but I’m not sure it’s a film I or anyone around my age would see in the theater. It kinda plays to a 14-16 year old audience.
The fight scenes sounded fun and all but let’s face it; Jackie Chan is REALLY old and isn’t the same on screen action star he used to be. Wires, stunt doubles, CGI are all fair game now. Combine that with the fact that he still can’t speak English all that well and much of his old magic is largely faded into history.
Kinda sad, but if you see it you might not hate yourself in the morning. (the way you would if you went to see the re-make of Fame I wrote about back in May which should be charged with raping my soul)
I promise to try to get some boobies up here in the next 2 days. I miss them too. 
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