Angelina Jolie might be giving birth as we speak…she might not. That’s the story and that’s about all I’m going to post on that matter since I don’t give that much of a shit.
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Archive for the 'Bun In The Oven' Category
I have been VERY good about avoid posts on this no talent attention whore.
I even avoided posts about quotes where she and her boy friend have made references to having children someday.
However, I had to post these because my hope is that the most vain and shallow girl on earth is actually getting fat.
If she’s pregant it’s merely an affront to nature. If she is getting fat, it’s hilarious.
No photos of her romancing a cheese cake have some out yet, but once/if they do, you’ll see ‘em here.
A few more of thunder thighs after the break. Continue reading ‘paris hilton is either getting fat or getting pregnant. you decide.’
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Did you wake up today thinking; “Ya know…I don’t think I’ll ever have a reason to get a boner again. What can I use to kill any chance of that happening again?”
Of course you first thought of cutting it off, but that’s nasty.
Then you thought about chemicals; but the thought of those pesky side effects doing something else to you seemed like a bad idea.
Then you saw a picture of a very pregnant Jessica Alba in a pool in her bikini.
You heard a faint wisp of a yelp from your crotch reason and realized that your cock killed itself dead.
Check out the nightmare after the break. Continue reading ‘jessica alba in a bikini kills boners for the first time ever’
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So reports have been swirling for a while that Britney Spears is pregnant again. (why God, WHY?)
Well she is certainly looking more corpulent these days so it’s either a case of being on a strict bacon and Twinkies diet (which is sadly plausible) or her being pregnant (which is intolerably scary).
Check out the pic after the break and decide for yourself. Continue reading ‘Britney Spears: Fat or Pregnant? You decide’
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Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have confirmed to friendorenemies.com that they are in fact having a child.
“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family.”
Can you imagine? This kid is either going to be the biggest douche bag on the face of the planet having 2 douche bags for parents; OR it’s going to be the coolest kid ever using the whole combining two negatives makes a positive theory.
Either way, neither one of these two should ever reproduce. Just sayin’…
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Son of a bitch….Timberlake had to do it didn’t he?
First he ruins Britney Spears sending her off the cliff and into oblivion. NOW he is about to pop the question to Jessica Biel and has possibly already infected her with his boy band seed. The Sun UK reports:
One source said Jessica has not been drinking recently, sparking pregnancy rumours. They added: “Justin is 27 and thinking about marriage and kids. “For the first time in his life he is feeling settled and has definitely decided to pop the question to Jessica. “He is so happy with her. They spent quite a bit of time apart recently when Justin was working with MADONNA. That made him certain Jessica was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.”
I think I just threw up in my mouth. I mean, Biel promised herself to me.
OK, she didn’t put it in writing or actually say that to anyone since I pretty much made it all up in my head but I am pretty sure she totally would have….if I was able to keep her consistently drugged enough to overlook my considerable shortcomings.
If they are about to be married, let’s hope they hold off on the kids so we can enjoy the majesty that is Biel’s body for another couple of years before it is sent spiraling straight to hell like so many others. (of course it really doesn’t seem to have hurt Christina Aguilera too much)
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There have been increasing rumors that Jennifer Love Hewitt is preggers.
However, she issued a statement to People (who I won’t link to as many of you know we have ‘issues’ with one another) saying that despite pictures that appear to show a baby belly, are not what they seem.
Jennifer….it’s getting sad. You are giant. Not just a little plump, you are giant. There is nothing healthy about that.
Also, it’s your job to be hot. No one wants to look at a fat star who has no talent.
If you were smart, you’d say you were pregnant and lose a bunch of weight and claim a miscarriage occurred so you can get some sympathy points.
No one feels sorry for a multimillionaire TV star who can’t push the fucking pudding spoon away from her gob after 5 servings.
Get it together. Seriously.
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Sorry for the 3 days links, but it turns out the carpal tunnel strain I thought I had is as luck would have it, or I should say ‘bad luck’, is actually a case of ulnar entrapment which, if it doesn’t respond to therapy, requires surgery and could possibly leave my arm crippled and useless if that doesn’t help. Hurray! All because I leaned on it too much at work. Of course the prognosis is that it will be fine given the suspected cause, but still. Kind of a pain in the ass.
Enough about me; on with the few stories that are actually worth talking about today (for now). I’ll post more at work if anything interesting comes up since I have to type there anyway.
Matt Damon is having another baby -E!
Michelle Williams talks Matilda and dealing with life post Heath – Pop Sugar
Catherine Zeta Jones is still alive; in Australia (she’s promoting Death Defying Acts which was actually a great script) -TOB
Paris Hilton and Benji Madden do Las Vegas for his birthday, then presumably do each other – The Insider
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Lindsay Lohan stepped out in LA the other day in a less than flattering dress and sporting something that looks curiously like a baby bump.
She has some definite gut action going on in these pictures. It’s not Jennifer Love Hewitt level, but it’s not the flat toned tummy we are used to seeing on Lindsay.
Of course this has begged the question of whether she is pregnant or not.
I’m going with ‘not’ right now since this gut grew in about a week and having 15 advanced degrees in biology I know that women sometimes bloat up pretty significantly during their ‘cycle’
Then again, Lindsay is the same girl who is a sex maniac and fucked no fewer than 4 different men in the course of one weekend at the Venice film festival so it’s not like she isn’t in a ‘higher risk’ category for a little baby mishap.
Check out the pix after the break and decide for yourself. If she is still looking huge in the next couple of weeks, then we’ll talk pregnancy. Continue reading ‘lindsay lohan: fat or pregnant? You decide’
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Jessica Alba is such a fat ass! Look at this pic of her at the Oscars.
What’s that? Pregnant…oh.
OK, I knew she was pregnant, but it seems like it was a month ago that she announced she was preggers. She is pretty big right now. There have been rumors swirling that she is having twins but she has denied those as of now.
I know it’s totally selfish and irrelevant, but I’m just happy her face isn’t getting fat. She can’t act worth a shit but I sure do like looking at her. It would be a shame if that was ruined with the whole ‘giving birth to a little miracle’ thing.
Yes, I am a pig. I admit it and will probably do nothing to fix it, but at least I admit it.
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