Angelina Jolie might be giving birth as we speak…she might not. That’s the story and that’s about all I’m going to post on that matter since I don’t give that much of a shit.
Archive for the 'Bun In The Oven' Category
I have been VERY good about avoid posts on this no talent attention whore.
I even avoided posts about quotes where she and her boy friend have made references to having children someday.
However, I had to post these because my hope is that the most vain and shallow girl on earth is actually getting fat.
If she’s pregant it’s merely an affront to nature. If she is getting fat, it’s hilarious.
No photos of her romancing a cheese cake have some out yet, but once/if they do, you’ll see ‘em here.
A few more of thunder thighs after the break. Continue reading ‘paris hilton is either getting fat or getting pregnant. you decide.’
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Did you wake up today thinking; “Ya know…I don’t think I’ll ever have a reason to get a boner again. What can I use to kill any chance of that happening again?”
Of course you first thought of cutting it off, but that’s nasty.
Then you thought about chemicals; but the thought of those pesky side effects doing something else to you seemed like a bad idea.
Then you saw a picture of a very pregnant Jessica Alba in a pool in her bikini.
You heard a faint wisp of a yelp from your crotch reason and realized that your cock killed itself dead.
Check out the nightmare after the break. Continue reading ‘jessica alba in a bikini kills boners for the first time ever’
So reports have been swirling for a while that Britney Spears is pregnant again. (why God, WHY?)
Well she is certainly looking more corpulent these days so it’s either a case of being on a strict bacon and Twinkies diet (which is sadly plausible) or her being pregnant (which is intolerably scary).
Check out the pic after the break and decide for yourself. Continue reading ‘Britney Spears: Fat or Pregnant? You decide’
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz have confirmed to friendorenemies.com that they are in fact having a child.
“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child. This is truly the most joyous time in our lives and we are excited to share the happy news and start our family.”
Can you imagine? This kid is either going to be the biggest douche bag on the face of the planet having 2 douche bags for parents; OR it’s going to be the coolest kid ever using the whole combining two negatives makes a positive theory.
Either way, neither one of these two should ever reproduce. Just sayin’…
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Son of a bitch….Timberlake had to do it didn’t he?
First he ruins Britney Spears sending her off the cliff and into oblivion. NOW he is about to pop the question to Jessica Biel and has possibly already infected her with his boy band seed. The Sun UK reports:
One source said Jessica has not been drinking recently, sparking pregnancy rumours. They added: “Justin is 27 and thinking about marriage and kids. “For the first time in his life he is feeling settled and has definitely decided to pop the question to Jessica. “He is so happy with her. They spent quite a bit of time apart recently when Justin was working with MADONNA. That made him certain Jessica was the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.”
I think I just threw up in my mouth. I mean, Biel promised herself to me.
OK, she didn’t put it in writing or actually say that to anyone since I pretty much made it all up in my head but I am pretty sure she totally would have….if I was able to keep her consistently drugged enough to overlook my considerable shortcomings.
If they are about to be married, let’s hope they hold off on the kids so we can enjoy the majesty that is Biel’s body for another couple of years before it is sent spiraling straight to hell like so many others. (of course it really doesn’t seem to have hurt Christina Aguilera too much)
There have been increasing rumors that Jennifer Love Hewitt is preggers.
However, she issued a statement to People (who I won’t link to as many of you know we have ‘issues’ with one another) saying that despite pictures that appear to show a baby belly, are not what they seem.
Jennifer….it’s getting sad. You are giant. Not just a little plump, you are giant. There is nothing healthy about that.
Also, it’s your job to be hot. No one wants to look at a fat star who has no talent.
If you were smart, you’d say you were pregnant and lose a bunch of weight and claim a miscarriage occurred so you can get some sympathy points.
No one feels sorry for a multimillionaire TV star who can’t push the fucking pudding spoon away from her gob after 5 servings.
Get it together. Seriously.
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