John Travolta talks about the fires in Malibu. He gives us the usual ‘it’s horrible when this sort of things blah blah blah’ action.
Once, just once, I want to hear someone say what everyone who has lived in this town for more than 2 years wants to say:
“Well…it does suck, but every asshole and their mom in this town knows everything that even remotely resembles a mountain or hill in this fucking town lights up like a Christmas tree at least once a year because we are in a coastal desert zone and get about 4 days of rain a year and a shit load of high air temperatures.”
“So basically you kinda made your own bed by deciding to live on nature’s equivalent of a bon fire pit. Sorry assholes, you lose.”
A day after MTV confirmed that Britney Spears would be performing at the VMA’s, she was snapped out and about in Beverly Hills. She was spotted holding a mystery bottle of meds (as well as possessing possibly the worst manicure ever seen by womankind).
I tried to blow it up and manipulate it in every way I could (damn you Photoshop for not being like the movies) and couldn’t figure out exactly what is was. What do you think it is? I’m going with anti-depressants or Valtrex. Though that’s the easy guess. What say you?
Oh Avril….she has been accused of ‘borrowing’ melodies from bands before. This is but the latest edition of her ‘homage’ to other acts.
I guess I should say her writers are theives since she doesn’t write shit and barely qualifies as a musician anyway. You decide if Team Avril are thieves. (voting ‘no’ will make you sterile)
A quesiton that has plagued the suicide bomber and the potential suicide bomber on the verge of deciding if it is in fact the career move he/she is looking for is: what happens to the 72 virgins I’m promised in heaven once I’m done violently butchering hundreds of innocent people?
Well, Page 6 is reporting that they have the answer from a former doucheassholeterrorist scum bag PLO member:
TERRORISTS are crazier than we thought. Former PLO strongman Walid Shoebat says suicide bombers expect to receive 72 virgins in paradise upon their martyrdom, but what happens to the deflowered gals after that is nuttier still. Shoebat, now an ardent critic of Islam and a supporter of Israel, told Dr. Blogstein’s Radio Happy Hour, “As soon as you consummate your rights with her, [they believe] she will return back to be a virgin again.” In fact, recycled women are referred to as “Ziplock virgins.”
Wait…so once you are done with them they go back to being virgins? I know a few girls who’ve been ‘virgins’ after a couple of dozen fuck buddies boyfriends. Hell my ex used to tell me all the time after she’d cheat on me that it wasn’t really sex like we had sex so it didn’t count. Is it possible that these girls are telling the truth and they make regular visits to heaven? Continue reading ‘What Happens To The 72 Virgins Once You Are Done With Them?’
A new richest man in the world has been crowned recently. Here is what he had to say:
Mexican telecom tycoon Carlos Slim, who is estimated by some calculations to be wealthier than Microsoft founder Bill Gates, said Thursday he did not care if he was the world’s richest person.
“It’s water off a duck’s back to me,” the cigar-smoking Slim told foreign correspondents. “I don’t know if I’m No. 1, No. 20, or No. 2,000. It doesn’t matter.”
Miss NJ, Amy Polumbo, who was embroiled in a blackmail scandal involving old pictures of her, took the preemptive action of releasing the pictures.
Years ago she posted pix on her now defunct Facebook site and some jerk off saved them and threatened to blackmail her.
However, there is one problem…there is an absence of anything even remotely controversial. Shit, give my grandma a shot of Jäger and a few well placed half liters of Franziskaner and she’ll produce raunchier material than this shit.
This guy/girl obviously hasn’t seen the shit some of these chicks post on myspace/facebook/<insert social networking site here> to know that it was gonna take A LOT more than this to get a beauty queen in trouble for anything.
Well it looks like things will be SOOO much more fun in airports in Canada. Canadian officials made the following announcement:
Air travelers in Canada who make comments about bombs and guns will
from now on only be arrested if it is clear they are making a serious
threat, officials said on Wednesday.
Oh, hooray! I was really missing the days when assholes could joke about bombs and guns and shit when I am about to pop on an airplane. I only hope that some folks start "joking" about having grenades strapped to their gut once we are hurtling through the air at 30,000 feet. I mean, there is nothing high stress enough about packing yourself into a metal flying death trap that a little joke or two about a bomb can’t fix.
A quesiton that has plagued the suicide bomber and the potential suicide bomber on the verge of deciding if it is in fact the career move he/she is looking for is: what happens to the 72 virgins I’m promised in heaven once I’m done violently butchering hundreds of innocent people?
A new richest man in the world has been crowned recently. Here is what he had to say:
