Archive for the 'Games' Category

13
Aug

meet the new lara croft (model)

No they aren’t replacing Angelina Jolie in the film version. (though I can’t imagine her doing another one of those piece of shit films)

They are replacing the promotion model who shows up at all the geek fests to give fuel to dorks (like me) to masturbate to later.

Her name is Allison Carroll and she is a receptionist/gymnast from the UK. (a gymnast with big cans? I would cry foul if England hadn’t voted a fat pig as Ms. England a year or so ago)

I like it. her gut looks a little loose to be Lara Croft to me, but she is still a tasty looking treat to be sure.

I await the inevitable nude ‘modeling’ shots from 5 years ago to surface.

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12
Mar

Mark Wahlberg begins filming ‘Max Payne’

max-payne-max-payne.jpgMark Wahlberg has begun work on the film adaptation of the popular video game Max Payne.

I am always skeptical of video game adaptations since they usually have a ton more story than you could ever jam into one film. (the same problem you have adapting books)

Also, in many games the story is secondary (or even tertiary) the the action segments that don’t necessarily advance the story.

I HOPE they get this one right as it did lean on the story quite a bit and the action was rather complimentary to the story.

However, when there are psychedelic freak out elements (i.e. Silent Hill) That has a bad way of going into the trim bin or being grossly mishandled.

Here’s to hoping they get this right.

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11
Feb

Games to kill time at work with: Duels

So this game DUELS launched a little bit ago and has now begun picking up steam.

It’s ass simple to play and yet is still addictive. My boss is sure to hate me even more now that I’m going to playing internet fight games with dorks and their imaginary orcs.

Use this link to check it out, I think I get bonuses or some shit and these geeks don’t play nice all the time and I need all the help I can get.

Oh and yes, the game is free. I woulnd’t bother posting some shit like this for a ‘for pay’ game. (though there are things you can pay for to get more items in the game, but my nerddom hasn’t quite reached those levels ….yet)

Click HERE to check it out.

01
Nov

Pardon Me Grandma, Have You Seen Keeley Hazell? Whaaaaaaaa?!?!?

Free Image Hosting at www.ImageShack.usWhat in the hell is going on here? Keeley is looking remarkably average. Does she have a new man who discourages her from showing her inner hotness? I’ve seen racier looks at nursing homes.

Though the nerd in me is far too excited that she is playing video games at The Simpsons video game launch. Maybe she’d totally be into me after all. We could play FIFA 08 in between torrid love making sessions. Just throwing that out there Keeley. Think about it.

Stop laughing…stop laughing god dammit! Nooooo!

A couple more of Keeley after the break Continue reading ‘Pardon Me Grandma, Have You Seen Keeley Hazell? Whaaaaaaaa?!?!?’

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23
Oct

Owen Wilson Races Lawnmowers With Willy Nelson In Texas

Owen WilsonDo I really need anything more than that ridiculous title? Apparently Nelson hosts a celebrity lawnmowing race in Texas every year.

Owen Wilson and Jessica Simpson participated with a host of others.

No word yet on whether anyone thought it was actually a good idea to have the guy who tried to cut himself to death operate a machine that is made to cut shit as fast as possible. Possible conflict of interest.

Source: People Magazine

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24
Aug

American Gladiators Is BACK!

Attention IT nerds who think you are tough. Are you ready to test yourself in the Eliminator? Do think you can handle the maelstrom of pain that is Turbo and Malibu reigning blows upon you with padded giant sized Q-tips? If your pussy ass, mistakenly, answered ‘yes’, Variety is reporting GREAT news for you:

The latest incarnation will follow eight gladiators — four men and four women — as they take on both male and female contestants. This time around, the participants will actually be given the chance to train for the various physical strength and endurance matches.

I loved watching geeks get snapped by twigs and the even too ridiculous for WWF interviews they used to have. I am pissed they are gonna let these dorks work out before hand.

If you have forgotten the pageantry & the majesty that was American Gladiators, check out this excellent video:

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18
Jul

Online Etch A Sketch

Did you love playing with Etch A Sketch as much as I did? Well now you can do that instead of what ever bullshit reports or meaningless tasks your boss is asking you to do today.

Hooray for me. I’m a hero.

Play it HERE