It is a sad, sad day for all men who still believe in being men.
There was once a time when if a man looked at you sideways you asked him if he had something to say to you. If he was just spacing out he’d apologize and you buy each other a shot of whiskey and keep that fucking bar open until 4 a.m and chat up everything in a skirt that passed by your way.
If he did have a problem, he’d own up to it and you’d step outside to duke it out a bit. No cheap shot bullshit, no pulling out knives or pistols if the other guy is throwing fists only. At the end of it all, you buy each other a shot of whiskey and keep that fucking bar open until 4 a.m. and chat up everything with a skirt that passed by your way.
Charlton Heston was a throwback to a time when men didn’t talk about connecting with their feminine side because they cut that son of a bitch out with a ka-bar knife fighitng commies or Nazis in some god forsaken shithole just because they needed something fun to do that year.
He was a throwback to a time when if there was a raccoon fucking up your trash cans and harassing your dogs at all hours of the night you didn’t call animal control and wait 4 hours for them to come hit it with the taser and gas it to death for you. You went in your house, pulled out your varmint rifle (which if you weren’t a pussy you’d know how it’s different from your average deer rifle) shoot the son of a bitch, skin it and have it for dinner the next day.
Hardcore. From his first ‘retirement’ after trying to jump 13 double decker buses in front of 80,000 spectators at Wembley Stadium in England. He doesn’t make it. Not too graphic, but still, if you don’t like spectacular crashes, stay away.
World famous stuntman and daredevil Evel Knievel passed away on Friday. People Magazine reports:
Knievel had been in frail health for some time. Speaking to USA Today earlier this year, Knievel – crippled with arthritis, recovering from a stroke and aching from his decades of bodily injuries he’d earned while performing – admitted he no longer felt invincible, as he had in his youth.
“I think about God a lot more than ever,” he said, “though I used to ask him, ‘Help me make a good jump.’ I’m awfully tough to get along with, but I’ll tell you what: I am a good person. I wish there was such a thing as reincarnation.”
“If there is a heaven, I don’t know anything else I can do to get there,” he told the interviewer, “and neither do you.”
Among his survivors are sons Kelly and Robbie Knievel, daughters Alicia and Tracey, 11 grandchildren and ex-wives Linda Knievel and Krystal Kennedy, 40, the former Florida State golfer who became Evel’s caregiver and companion despite their short, rocky marriage.
Son of a bitch. Growing up, I used to love watching his old tapes and playing with old action figures my parents had that they let me play with. If it wasn’t for Evel I don’t think I ever would have gotten into skateboarding; OK, yeah I would but still it didn’t hurt.
You will be missed. Now try to jump over God on a rocket powered dog sled, Evel. Bones don’t break in heaven.
If your pussy assed eyes can handle it, girly man, a new bible to learn and live by is being published. I suggest you don’t look directly at it unless you want to become 50% less potent. Chuck Norris is hitting the hardcovers. Page 6 reports:
In “The Truth About Chuck Nor ris,” out next week, author Ian Spector relates such crazy tid bits as: “A cobra once bit Chuck Norris’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died . . . Chuck Norris can impregnate women with only a glance. He can also do this to men . . . Chuck Norris only allows Jackie Chan to live because he likes Chris Tucker movies . . . When Chuck Norris breaks wind, it stays broken . . . Mr. T. once de feated Chuck Norris in a game of tic-tac-toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism . . . When he is alone at night, Chuck Norris likes to wear slippers with bunnies on them. Real live bunnies.”
I strongly suggest you have your heart meds handy because even in written form, Norris is lethal. Watch yourself, pussy.
“I’d like to see JIMI HENDRIX cover one of my tracks but it’s probably not going to happen.” British singer JAMES BLUNT wishes he launched his career during Hendrix’s lifetime.
James, I don’t believe Jimi knew the ‘pussy faced douche rat fink butt fucker’ chord progressions required to play your diabolical catalog of pain music.
Attention IT nerds who think you are tough. Are you ready to test yourself in the Eliminator? Do think you can handle the maelstrom of pain that is Turbo and Malibu reigning blows upon you with padded giant sized Q-tips? If your pussy ass, mistakenly, answered ‘yes’, Variety is reporting GREAT news for you:
The latest incarnation will follow eight gladiators — four men and four women — as they take on both male and female contestants. This time around, the participants will actually be given the chance to train for the various physical strength and endurance matches.
I loved watching geeks get snapped by twigs and the even too ridiculous for WWF interviews they used to have. I am pissed they are gonna let these dorks work out before hand.
If you have forgotten the pageantry & the majesty that was American Gladiators, check out this excellent video:
The David Beckham US Tour landed in NYC yesterday in advance of the Galaxy’s match against Red Bull New York on Saturday (aired nationally in the US on Fox Soccer Channel).
In his off time, he took the time along with team mate Ty Harden & New York players, ace striker Juan Pablo Angel and teen phenom Jozy Altidore, to run a clinic with disadvantaged youth in Harlem to teach them the finer points of the beautiful game.
Call him overexposed. Call him overrated. Call him whatever stupid things you want, but is it really possible to hate him? He shows up in every town and helps poor kids to learn the game of soccer (football) for free on his own time and gives them free equipment so they can keep on playing. The only thing left for him to do is save a puppy from a burning building while he’s running one of these clinics. Are you kidding me?
It is a sad, sad day for all men who still believe in being men.
If your pussy assed eyes can handle it, girly man, a new bible to learn and live by is being published. I suggest you don’t look directly at it unless you want to become 50% less potent. Chuck Norris is hitting the hardcovers. Page 6 reports:
From 
The David Beckham US Tour landed in NYC yesterday in advance of the Galaxy’s match against Red Bull New York on Saturday (aired nationally in the US on Fox Soccer Channel).