This is basically going to be the greatest sex tape in the history of sex tapes.
TMZ is reporting (and providing video teaser HERE ) that Verne ‘Mini Me’ Troyer and his former live in girlfriend made a fuck tape and it is now being shopped for $100K.
That is such bullshit. This thing is worth at least 400 times that amount. (no, I’m not going to make the same lame numerical reference that ’some people’ have made)
Now this tape won’t be great for the eroticism. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m going to be fighting the vomit hammer and tongs.
It will be great because it’s Verne fucking Troyer banging a full sized chick. I’m sorry people, midget porn is hilarious. Yes, they can bang all the normal sized chicks they want, more power to them; it doesn’t make it any less hilarious though.
Bring on the DVD! I’m first in line.
Do you think he creampies her in the video? Ohhhh now I’ve gone too far…
I can think of some better things to lose my life over, but Adnan Ghalib is apparently risking life and limb by allegedly holding onto a sex tape of him and Britney Spears which he is in the process of trying to release. The SUN UK reports:
“Yes, I was injured by an attacker. This is still being investigated. I can’t say much about the cowardly attack other than: a) you better come a lot stronger than that if you want to make a point and b) most will be surprised by those behind it. I have had many calls about it from all over the world. In light of the constant calls about the sex tape and threats, I’m taking a break from the industry and keeping a low profile.”
You think you got stabbed over a sex tape with Britney Spears that was made in the last 2 years and you continue to explore releasing it? C’mon, dude!
If this was Britney when she was 18-21 then yeah, I’d pretty much take bullets for that since you’ll be a billionaire and could probably have someone make you a bionic body with a crushing vice like grip that could destroy worlds.
For a tape made after she spit out a couple kids, went nuts and got fat as a whale…uhhh…you could probably get a Big Gulp and a day old hot dog from 7-11 at best.
Time to take stock of your life, chief.
Oh and what fucking industry are you taking a break from? You former ‘industry’ of stalking celebrities, getting in their good graces and fucking them? Or the industry of making sex tapes with girlfriends and publicly advertising that you will sell them to the highest bidder thereby ruining the business of taping yourself with your girlfriend’s for every other guy on earth, dick lick? I’m curious. Please explain in a 30 minute tell all on the Insider that I can summarize in 3 sentences later.
Did you really need a reason other than a killer body, hot face and uhhh did I mention a killer body…to love Megan Fox? She recently told FHM (via E!)
“I haven’t met a lot of men who have said, ‘You like having sex? What a dirty whore you are.’ I’m young and have a lot of hormones—I’m always in the mood! But I like sex with one person when I’m in a relationship. Sex with random people who I’ve met at clubs is not really my thing.”
The Transformers star adds: “I have the libido of a 15-year-old boy. My sex drive is so high. I’d rather have sex with Brian all the time than leave the house. He doesn’t mind.”
I hate when I fall for this shit. I know and you know damn well that she probably fucks three times a week and calls that a 15 year old boy libido. (note to the ladies: 15 year old boys would like to fuck a minimum of 21 times a week…I’m really not joking)
In any event, I constantly post this shit. Why? Because I want it to be true; and dammit, if I believe it, it will be true.
I have been avoiding posting about the Gov. Spitzer drama since it really only effects the state of NY which is about 1/100 of the total population of earth so you do the ratings math.
However, this report from the AP kinda cracked me up. These guys are lining up MILLIONS to see her nude and tape it. Two weeks ago she would have let you do it for $1000 and fuck her also.
Gotta love the process of becoming famous via hot beef injection. (Paris Hilton)
Also, the AP doing stories like this is just another sad indictment of the death of real journalism. This is the same organization that has now adopted a policy of covering all things Britney and has a whole department devoted to it. Sad. SOOOoooOOOoooOOOooo sad.
Lindsay Lohan might be the next celebrity with a sex tape leak out there. The Gossip Rocks forums had this post earlier on Wednesday:
ok well remember that whole lindsay lohan callum best sex tape thing a while back.. that turned out to be bogus..untill now.
apparently callum sent the video (which was filmed on his cell phone) when the 2 where an item has been sent to some of his friends…which as you may have guessed have been trying to sell the video.
Anyway so i have this friend (cant say her name.) who is friends with lindsay lohan. She’s just emailed me saying that someone has sent an email to lindsay with a screen clip from the movie, and shes freaking out because she “cant remember it being filmed”.
i shall have this picture soon hopefully, my friend is sending me it. (she said that you can see lindsay giving oral…
As I mentioned over on the celebrity gossip page, there are images swirling that are allegedly from a Kristin Davis sex tape. She is one of the girls from Sex and the City for those non-gay guys out there.
I am calling bullshit as I can’t imagine what in the hell Taylor Rain would have to do with a Kristin Davis sex tape, (her site is the the link in the blog I’m about to link to mentions) highly suspect if you ask me.
Here is the blog that is breaking the news (that site is NSFW about 3/4 of the way down the page).
HERE is the link to the dirty bird zone on this site where you can see the images. (as with everything on that site, it is VERY NSFW)
Paris Hilton is so multitalented. She is a singer, songwriter, actor, cum dumpster and STD petri dish. What can’t the girl do? Well you can scratch hook dogs up for hot canine affairs off that list! Thanks god, right? I mean she has managed to make a mockery of the human to human form of it why not do the same for the beast world?
Her and Johnson and Johnson heiress, Carry Johnson are working on getting their pooches to fuck. Gatecrasher reports:
“They’re mating,” Johnson told me at a brunch in her Beverly Hills home to launch Montblanc’s new Haute Joaillerie collection.
Despite their famous pedigrees, the Hollywood hot dogs are not expecting quite yet.
“She has to be in heat one more time,” Johnson explained.
They’ll get it done. I mean if there is anyone with experience taking strange cock in awkward circumstances surely Paris Hilton is the master. You’ll be knocked up soon, pooch and you can live in abject horror as you are carried around like a fashion accessory and your babies are left to live in the hepatitis bin known as the Paris Hilton estate.
Yes, Oprah has managed to kill another one of my heroes. Eddie van Halen’s ex-wife, Valerie Bertinelli, was on the yap fest and talked about the first time they made love fucked and she claims in her tell all book that Eddie wept while giving her the ole’ Low E in her A Major (ahh music humor…I apologize)
So basically every I hear Eruption I’m going to think of this pussy being so overwhelmed by banging a chick that he cries. This is where we differ, I only weep knowing that it will most likely be another 16 years and various alcohol combinations before I get laid again. I wrote that in invisible font right?
It looks like Gene Simmons is adding his name to the sex tape game. The only shock is that it’s taken this long for a fuck tape of his to come out. I should point out that there has been no ‘official’ confirmation that it is in fact Gene in the tape, but it sure looks like him.
Kinda creepy, but if you can stomach seeing Gene nail a HOT piece of ass, there is of course a website selling the tape HERE. Needless to say the link is NSFW. (you’re going to a fuck tapes website for Christ’s sake, of course it’s NSFW)
Something tells me if you wait it will be up on the torrent sites sooner rather than later.
This site has some clips of it for free. Click HERE to check them out. They are obviously NSFW
There are some more clips HERE as well. Again, NSFW. Then again, if you don’t know links to a sex tape aren’t safe for work, feel free to lobotomize yourself now and jump into a fucking river with concrete boots.
This site will probably have it eventually for sure. They pretty much post every celebrity fuck tape in existence there. Click HERE to check it out.
I would link to the original post I had last week of Christina Aguilera and her giant post-pregnancy boobs but I am a bit mesmerized by something at the moment.
I’m not sure what it is.
It might be the blue dress…
…or the banner backdrop behind her…
…or those ridiculous, in the good way, cans of hers…
The world may never know. At least her face isn’t still looking bloated like it had been. Jordan Bratman sooo doesn’t deserve to play with those things. Dammit I need to be a troll looking record executive.
